Words for '50"

On May the 27th 2007, I celebrated my 50th birthday. It sound so old. A half of a century. You are able to join AARP but not old enough for a senior citizen discount. I refuse to get old. Where is the fun in that? What comes to mind are the Words of Fifty and there meanings. Suddenly some words at 50 take on a different meaning.

casual fit or relaxed fit- it means there is more room in the thighs and hips, normally made of a strench fabric and more room in the hips or thighs.

any number with a W attached- this is womens, I thought I was always a women but now I am shopping in womens. Where was I shopping before? W attached mean more room in the hips and thighs. Don't get confused this is also true with Casual Fit. One good thing about the "Womens", I wear the smallest size in that department.

panty liners or shields- Now I really do not need these but. You may need them if you cough, sneeze, laugh to hard, pick up something heavy, bend over. They also offer you the security of feeling fresh.

prostrate exam- you want to do what? to who? where? I don't think so and you want me to pay you money? you know the up the butt test. why would anyone want to take picture of my colon or prostrate. Why not at 60,70 or better yet 80. Sounds good to me.

Blood Test-they are okay, not good and not bad. they need work. at 50 they can make you worry about them.

weight- to heavy, out of control, bad range for your heart.

excerise- is it to late to start? you think you really should. I hate to excerise. All the magazine say walk around the block. how boring can that get. pounding the pavement looking at the same old house you can see from your car. Go figure. I can also tell you, I have watched Jane Fonda excerise for years. She has not helped me yet.

history- seems like I've lived through alot of it. I can say "I remember that". Or I was alive when that happened. Or you mention that you were here or doing this or that when an event happened. You have alot of history.

remember- remember what? I can't remember my own name or phone number sometimes. How am I supose to remember anything else.

notes- I have them everywhere. I have notes to remind me to read my notes. When I leave the house I have notes on where I am going and what to do when I get there.

attention span- mine is short. My mind wanders. I say my prayes and find myself thinking about something else in the middle of my prayers. Is it attention or the devil makes me do it. See are we talking about attention or prayers?

For anyone out there who is 50 or older maybe some words are taking on a different meaning for you. Let me know. I am sure that I will add to this list.