Words for '50"

On May the 27th 2007, I celebrated my 50th birthday. It sound so old. A half of a century. You are able to join AARP but not old enough for a senior citizen discount. I refuse to get old. Where is the fun in that? What comes to mind are the Words of Fifty and there meanings. Suddenly some words at 50 take on a different meaning.

casual fit or relaxed fit- it means there is more room in the thighs and hips, normally made of a strench fabric and more room in the hips or thighs.

any number with a W attached- this is womens, I thought I was always a women but now I am shopping in womens. Where was I shopping before? W attached mean more room in the hips and thighs. Don't get confused this is also true with Casual Fit. One good thing about the "Womens", I wear the smallest size in that department.

panty liners or shields- Now I really do not need these but. You may need them if you cough, sneeze, laugh to hard, pick up something heavy, bend over. They also offer you the security of feeling fresh.

prostrate exam- you want to do what? to who? where? I don't think so and you want me to pay you money? you know the up the butt test. why would anyone want to take picture of my colon or prostrate. Why not at 60,70 or better yet 80. Sounds good to me.

Blood Test-they are okay, not good and not bad. they need work. at 50 they can make you worry about them.

weight- to heavy, out of control, bad range for your heart.

excerise- is it to late to start? you think you really should. I hate to excerise. All the magazine say walk around the block. how boring can that get. pounding the pavement looking at the same old house you can see from your car. Go figure. I can also tell you, I have watched Jane Fonda excerise for years. She has not helped me yet.

history- seems like I've lived through alot of it. I can say "I remember that". Or I was alive when that happened. Or you mention that you were here or doing this or that when an event happened. You have alot of history.

remember- remember what? I can't remember my own name or phone number sometimes. How am I supose to remember anything else.

notes- I have them everywhere. I have notes to remind me to read my notes. When I leave the house I have notes on where I am going and what to do when I get there.

attention span- mine is short. My mind wanders. I say my prayes and find myself thinking about something else in the middle of my prayers. Is it attention or the devil makes me do it. See are we talking about attention or prayers?

For anyone out there who is 50 or older maybe some words are taking on a different meaning for you. Let me know. I am sure that I will add to this list.

Picking Up Little Kids

I love to talk to little kids. Especially while standing in line. Normally the Mothers are trying to get them to stay with them, stand still, stop doing this or stop doing that, and on and on and on. So for me it is always fun to try to talk to them while waiting. Well that has changed. I am going to hold back from talking to anymore little kids. I can't take the guilt. I know you are saying what the yeck. Here it is. On Wednesday, while standing in line waiting to check out at Joanns there was the cutest little boy with a blanket sitting in a buggy in front of me. He was hungry and wanted to leave. So being me, I started talking to him. His Mom and Grandmother were with him. I first asked him if I could have his blanket. He promptly answered NO. I told him the story about my sons blanket and that it was still in a drawer in his room. Dusty is 21. But this little boy, named Joe, was not ready to give his up. His Mother and I started talking. I learned that Joe was the youngest of 5. He wanted to get out of the buggy and his Mom took him out. Bad move on her part. He wanted this and that. All NO NO NO NO. He layed on the floor only to the threat that if he did not stand up he would have to get back in the buggy. He decided to be good. Of course, here goes big mouth talking to him again. He asked me if I had a dog that he has a puppy. I told him that I had 4 dogs. A Lab, 2 Cocker Spaniels and a Chiawauwau. (spelled wrong again) (I need to look that up. Maybe someone can help) Joe and I talked about the dogs and how they loved to play. By this time his Mother was moving ahead to check out. Joe asked me if he could go home with me and play with my dogs. I said yes but that he would have to ask his Mom. Bad choice of words. Mr. Joe skipped up to his Mom and starting asking if he could go home with me. She told him that he couldn't because of his car seat. He skipped back to me and said that we would have to get his car seat. I responded with "but Joe your Mom is really going to miss you". He said that was okay as he skipped back to his Mom. By this time I had to get in another line to check out. I could hear Joe pleding his case. This little guy really wanted to go home with me. Who would have thought he would go. I really do not think that he was 3 but I could hear them talking about. His Mom was saying how everyone would miss him and that his puppy was at home and Daddy was coming home, etc. etc, etc.,. By this time he was begining to wail. I mean loud. He as ready to go home with me. I was checking out and trying to get out of there as fast as I could. I felt awful. How was I to know that little Joe would really want to go with me. HELP I left the store to the sound of poor little Joe wailing and crying his little eyes out. The pain and guilt I felt. I throw my stuff in the back of the car. A nice lady next to me asked if she could take my cart back and I was so glad. I was trying to get out of there before Joe made it to the parking lot. I was telling the lady about Joe. Another lady was leaving the store who had saw the whole show and was laughing. She said that he was still begging, wailing and crying. I am telling the whole parking lot how sorry I am and how bad I felt. I promptly jumped in my car and got out of Dodge. I felt like the worst person in the world. That little boys wails were still ringing in my ears. Little kids can rip your heart out. Of course they recover and we still fell bad. I made a pack with myself that I would not talk to little kids again. I left Joanns and went to Walgreens. While waiting in line to get my medicine lo and behold. In a buggy in front of me is the cutest little girl in a purple warm up suit with pig tails. She looked like a valentine. I could not resist. She was with her Grandfather. I had to say hello. I did not go near the subject of going home with anyone. We had a nice converstion. As I left the store she waved with that cute little kid hand and said good-bye in an angels voice. I just can't help talking to them but I will stay off the subject of dogs and going home. See what "The Girls" can get me into.