I'm Sure, Just Gas

"Mitch: Value this time in your life kids, because this is the time in your life when you still have your choices, and it goes by so quickly. When you’re a teenager you think you can do anything, and you do. Your twenties are a blur. Your thirties, you raise your family, you make a little money and you think to yourself, What happened to my twenties? Your forties, you grow a little pot belly you grow another chin. The music starts to get too loud and one of your old girlfriends from high school becomes a grandmother. Your fifties you have a minor surgery. You’ll call it a procedure, but it’s a surgery. Your sixties you have a major surgery, the music is still loud but it doesn’t matter because you can’t hear it anyway. Seventies, you and the wife retire to Fort Lauderdale, you start eating dinner at two, lunch around ten, breakfast the night before. And you spend most of your time wandering around malls looking for the ultimate in soft yogurt and muttering How come the kids don’t call? How come the kids don’t call? By your eighties, you’ve had a major stroke, and you end up babbling to some Jamaican nurse who your wife can’t stand but who you call mama. Any questions?" Billy Crystal

This little speech by Billy Crystal from City Slickers is one of my favorites from a movie. He is telling this to his wife before his birthday. It is not my birthday but the fifties rings true. I have been having a few chest pains lately. Just a few and I am sure it is just gas. My dear cousins is a NP at our local hospital. My bright idea was to go and see her last night and let her tell me it is just gas. I met her at 9:00 PM and got back home at 4:00 AM. After numerous blood test, EKG, chest x-ray and a CAT scan of my lungs it was determined that my blood count is so low that I may have to have a transfusion. Here my blood is low and they are taking five tubes of blood the first time and three the second. Hi, give me back the blood. The test revealed that they do not see how I have been getting out of the bed in the morning. You think that is why I can't get out of my rut? Maybe, I may even be able to be cured. I am off to doctors today for more test. I am sure that it is just gas. Beano here I come plus four coated baby aspirin or 325mg. Most people only take one 81mg. Oh yeah, did I say that you can have a heart attack if your blood is to low. I am sure it is GAS!